Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
