if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
false alarm, still single
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
