I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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