physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
