billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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