So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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