So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
