Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
