so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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