Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
