my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
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