how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
