office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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