My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
