Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
