how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
