Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
