i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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