you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
he high fived his dick after we had sex
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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