sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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