A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
