So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Are we still banned from the library?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
