I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
