I just threw up on my dentist
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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