My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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