I smell stomach acid.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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