i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
