This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
