im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
