So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
