you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
