So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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