I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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