He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
