some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
