no. you can't hotbox the world.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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