he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
