I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
