I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
