If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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