Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
did you get engaged???
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
