this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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