Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
