Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I am naked and annoyed.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
