YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My legs feel like baby dolphins
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
