We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
