i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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