If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
