is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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