We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
This is not my ceiling
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
