I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
