It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
