Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
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